Time to Reflect

The holiday season is coming to a close. The year is just a few days from being categorized as just another piece of history. Often this time of year brings us to a point in our lives where we reflect. We reflect on the things gone wrong, the things that have gone right and the things we hope to accomplish in the future...

It's been a trying year. My husband was out of work for almost half of it. But I can honestly say that it wasn't too awful. You learn to live on a lot less and be grateful for what you have.

Although finical difficulties can result in an overwhelming amount of familial distress, it can also result in some unexpected glorious times. My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for 4. Never have we had the opportunity to spend so much time with each other or with our children. I am truly appreciative that my husband's time at home gave him the opportunity to watch our youngest child grow and develop in a way he never got to experience with our oldest. Time can't be recovered. Life only gives you one shot at the "firsts" and I thank God that we got to experience so many firsts as a family. From the milestones a toddler tackles to the puffing out of the chest as the teenage boy makes that awkward transition into a young man. Life is good .

As far as the future, who knows what it holds. Life is so full of uncertainty. I have learned that for sure. I can only hope that we can continue to remain, and grow to be an even stronger family. Of course, there are things that I hope the new year will bring, but as I reflect on the past, those "things" are of a different caliber this time. And THAT is a blessing.

Happy Halloween!!

I've always liked to celebrate Halloween but I've never been a huge fan of dressing up and begging for candy. I prefer to decorate my house (in more of a harvest theme than Halloween) and buy candy to stash around the house. I do enjoy passing out candy to YOUNG trick-or-treaters. And I thoroughly enjoyed dressing my little one up and taking him to a handful of pre-selected neighbor's houses dressed as the most adorable lion I've ever seen before we passed out candy from home. (Yes, I know that I'm biased.)


The other side of Halloween is the Dark Side. And I do believe that there are all kinds of people out there who truly believe that the evils of the world freely walk the streets on All Hallows Eve. Which brings me to the point of this post...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

Honestly, I have mixed opinions about this topic. I've had some strange things happen to me, unexplained noises and things breaking that shouldn't. And our late Lacie dog used to stare into the same corner of the living room while barking and growling for hours upon hours sometimes. Micah often looks up to this same spot while pointing and talking his baby gibberish. IF there is indeed some type of something lurking in our house, it really doesn't seem to bother anyone. I do get a little weirded out when I think about it sometimes. But for the most part, ghosts, spirits etc., are not something that I take too seriously nor do I think every single person who claims to have some type of paranormal experience is making it up.

In the comments...what is your opinion on this matter or do you have your own experiences to share?

I think just may be time to let this blog go...I just can't seem to ever find the time...

I've Discovered a New Disease, Where Are My Millions?!?!?

I'm am waiting on the delivery of my 3rd cell phone in about a year and a half. I don't try to pretend that I take extra special care of my devices. I've been known to allow Micah to play with my handheld computer that no child should ever be allowed to touch let alone viciously throw onto the cement during a walk. But hey, after that one was rendered no longer viable because I could only make calls using the speakerphone (which is evidently considered to be rude in public, humph) I purchased another. This time I tried to be sensible. I bought the phone used in order to side step the outrageous cost of buying from T-Mobile before my contract was set to expire. I gave up some features that I really enjoyed (wi-fi, windows mobile) but I gained a touchscreen and a 5 mega pixel camera, super cool, eh? And ever better, I tried my hardest to take care of THIS one. Micah's sweet little hands only touched this phone if he was successful on one his his gazillion telephone robbery missions of the day. (My baby is obsessed with the telephone, he OBVIOUSLY gets this from his father.) And as far as I'm aware, he never dropped it. Well the other night the damned phone started acting like a touchy menopausal woman. Evey attempt at touching the screen yielded and unwanted and WRONG response. Never doing what I wanted. I tried to remedy the problem several different ways only to end up being told by the tech guy, "There are no other possible fixes. I'm sorry, you'll have to replace the device." WTF!!! Didn't I just go through this, not even 2 months ago!!!! So much for actually trying to take care of a phone properly. And don't EVEN tell me that I should have refrained from purchasing a used phone. I was being economical, remember? So anyway, this all happened last week. Mind you, the broken phone is a touchscreen with a virtual keyboard. When the screen is acting like a psycho by responding as though you've touched whatever option is to the left of what you're actually gunning for, texting is virtually IMPOSSIBLE! Alas, we come to the discovery of the new disease. Drum roll please...

TEXTING WITHDRAW

I text all day everyday and am very grateful for our unlimited texting plan (otherwise we'd be paying some serious overage charges). I have not been able to text in a timely fashion for about a week now. I'm getting a little anxious. I've even taken to using the husband's phone to text my sister just for the sake of texting when I don't really have anything to tell her because I just like to text. And the funny thing, I never used to like to text. I was all about texting being too impersonal, pick up the phone and talk to me dammit! But now, I really enjoy the convenience of it all and not being able to send a quick message about the awesome new thing my genius baby just did (LOL) is driving me insane!!

So just remember that you heard it here first. When something happens and the cell phone towers across the nation go down, millions of people all will find themselves experiencing strange sensations that will later be diagnosed as Texting Withdraw. Hell, it may even not even be too long before we see those in recovery on some funky VH1 reality show.

And So It Goes...

At what point in life did you start to feel you're running out of time? Or have you not yet reached that point yet? I'm 31 and all of a sudden I feel as though I'm not going to get it all done. Things are starting to feel impossible. Starting to feel like I've got to do some rearranging. Is this just a phase because the end of my child bearing years are quickly approaching or maybe just because life in general has been so unpredictable the last 6 months or so? I'm not sure. But I don't like these feelings of uncertainty and maybe just putting them "out there" will help to dissolve some of the anxiety.

Yes, I'm Still Here. Promise.

I should probably be but on some kind of blog probation...almost 2 months since I last posted anything. Shame on me! Well let it be recorded that I have often thought of sitting down to write and something always comes up (kids,husband,dogs). Often I'm out and see a blog worthy situation and never quite make it to the computer (kids,husband,dogs). So I am here in attempt to redeem myself and hope that at least one person stops by to see that I am still here :)

So, a quick recap of the last two months, shall we?

~I've still been hitting the gym at least 3 times a week although I'd like to go more but I that isn't always possible (kids,husband,dogs). But more importantly, I'm sticking to the commitment I made to myself...yay!!!

~My baby boy is 16 months old. He's got an incredibly strong personality, which I absolutely adore, and it seems as though he's doing something different and new every single day. And he's turning into a "big boy" for sure, he's out of mommy and daddy's bed, sleeping through the night (FINALLY!) and he's not nursing anymore! Thank God for my sister and a little patience on my part that helped all this happen in just under 2 weeks. How wonderful it is to feel like a normal human being again.

~We put up an electric fence in our backyard for the dogs. Too many people freak out when Scooter gets loose and and Scrappy just causes trouble with other neighborhood dogs. I thought the training process was going to be really crazy and long. But it wasn't so bad. Scooter got it in about 3 days. With Scrappy it was a whole different ballgame. But they're both good now and I have to admit, when one of them decides to try and chase that random squirrel or rabbit and they run into the boundary line, it can be extremely entertaining. I know, I shouldn't enjoy seeing my dogs get shocked, but hey, I do. Because really, I haven't changed my mind, I'd like to just get rid of them all and reclaim my grass.

I suppose that is all for now. Just wanted to check in with the blog-world and say I am indeed still here. I'm trying to think of a new format for my blog that will allow me post more often...so look for changes soon!

I love to watch people. I can never drive past someone walking down the street without taking a peak. I like to wonder what there lives are about. Where are they going, where have they been. I wonder if the tall skinny man that I see several times a week walking with a drug mart bag who has a severe limp and deformed hand was born that way or was there some sort of accident. Is he bitter? Is is ever appropriate to ask? Probably not. I often feel sad for him. Not so much because of his abnormalities but because he always looks sad. I wonder why he looks so sad. Maybe he misses life as it once was or maybe he dreams of what life could have been. I am sad now just to wonder about it.

I wonder about the lady who wears the crazy glitter makeup and lines her lips, as well as most of the surrounding area, with a shade of red that is never truly appropriate for anyone who doesn't want to be noticed. She often acts as though she wants to be invisible, but she never presents herself in such a way. She wears her hair, or wig, I do believe it is a wig, piled high on her head and its always adorned with some type of bow or barrette that would be far better suited for a small child. I wonder why she would go to the local bar, order several beers, open one to drink now and stuff the rest in her over sized purse to drink later in the lady's bathroom. I wonder why she sometimes will speak and other times acts as if she is unable to speak and just stares. Is she able? I do not feel sad for her. Actually, she frightens me a bit. She seems to be the type who may go "postal" one day. But I do enjoy watching her, I really do. But I prefer her when she is in a non-speaking mood.

I wonder about the man who is young and handsome that walks past my house everyday to get his beer. The ambulance is called a few times a year because he often tries to commit suicide. Why would he do that? Is he just so drunk that he does not know any better? Is his life that bad and maybe that is why he is drunk all the time? He has children that he doesn't care for. That makes me sad. But from what I understand, he himself was not properly cared for as a child. That too, saddens me. Probably, I could get more answers about the handsome drunk neighbor, but then, what would I have to wonder about? And what would be the fun in that?

Some New Things, YAY!!!

A while back I promised to make myself a priority. When I made that declaration, I had no idea how difficult it would be. I mean seriously, why is it so hard to take care of yourself? Why is it so hard to take some time to do something nice for yourself? Since when did we (women) get so caught up in everyday life that we tend to forget we are actually a part of that life we strive so hard to not allow to crumble? I have a theory...motherhood.

So, obviously, I've had a difficult time since my little man arrived (nearly 14 months ago) making time for me. Because for some reason, I just wasn't as important anymore. Then I woke up. If I can't take care of me then I can't take care of my family. And so here we are. I'm trying a couple of new things and reverting to some old in order to but some balance in my life.

Priority one, get in shape. After I had Micah and things settled down a bit, I was able to focus on shedding those extra baby pounds. At first I did a pretty good job. And then something happened. Life happened; we all got sick and I of course had to be the "nurse". My exercise routine went out the window and my eating habits flew out right behind. I gained back the 15 pounds I'd worked so hard to get rid of and never really resumed my healthful ways. But I'm ready. So I've started doing Zumba. It is such a blast!!! I have never had so much fun working out. I look forward to going to the gym and some days actually wish it would last just a bit longer. Plus, it gets me out of the house. ALONE. And to top it all off, I lost 6 pounds after going just 3 times in one week. Yay!!!

Priority two, hmmm...I don't remember. Can I be honest? I've been trying to get this post up for about 3 days now. I have no idea what I was going to say which tells me that I need to re-evaluate my priorities. LOL! But I have still been making it a point to read. And I'm sorry to report (Nance) that I really don't have the time to dive into anything that is going to require tons of brain power. I have to take baby steps as my baby is running me ragged. I am thoroughly enjoying reading mindless vampire novels, for now. I have moved on to the Sookie Stackouse collection. Give me time, Nance. Give me time.

Confessional Is Open

Sometimes you just have to air some things out. I can totally understand why Catholics go to confession, free therapy. Maybe I need to think about converting to Catholicism...hmmm. Yeah, probably not. Anyway...

Confession #1
I really do not give a damn that our country uses torture to extract information from brainwashed psychopaths whose only goal in life is to kill Americans. If this keeps crazies from flying planes into buildings, I'm all for it.

Confession #2
I have a twitter account. I know, I know. But I don't use it to "tweet" about myself. I recently opened the account so I could follow Dr. Sanjay Gupta (don't you love him!??!) when he was discussing the Swine Flu.

**By the way, are we over that one already, the Swine Flu? Or have I just not been keeping up with the news, again?

Confession #3
I have been reading like crazy lately. It's been Fantabulous!!!! First I read the House of Night series. Its about vampires. Now I'm reading the Twilight series, also about Vampires. I have been completely immersed in vampires that I'm dreaming about flippin' vampires. I'm even starting to wonder if they truly exist. I mean, don't most stories/legends have truth behind them? How cool would that be? Ok. Maybe not so cool. But nevertheless, I'm obsessed.

Confession#4
I want to get rid of my dogs. Really. At least Scooter, the big dog. I do still adore Scrappy Doo but not as much as I used to, just as I feared would happen before my sweet Micah was born. These days I see the dogs mostly as a nuisance who screw up my back yard. I just found out that our local APL is a no kill shelter so I would only feel guilty for a couple of days about dropping Scooter off. He's beautiful. He's a pure breed that some people would pay some serious money for. I don't think it would take very long for someone to snag him up.

Confession #5
Sometimes Micah and I watch a show called Hip Hop Harry. Some days, I think I like it more than he does.

That is all for now. Feel free to step into my confessional booth/comment box.

Did You Seriously Just Do That?

My husband is one of the most intelligent people that I know. He's always on the top of my list when I have a question about something. But he recently had a day where he must have left a pretty substantial amount of brain cells on his pillow when he woke up in the morning. It was just one thing after another. All Day! I shall share with you one episode of Jason's blond day.

* *no offence intended to any blonds who may be reading...it's just a saying :)

We bought a new grill. Jason has been eyeing this grill for years. He oogles over it when he sees someone using it on tv. He can even spot it the background of a scene being used as a prop, it's quite sad really. He's always waiting for it to go on sale but that pretty much never happens. Until a few weeks ago. So naturally he ran right out to buy it. Now mind you, this is a charcoal grill. Because that is the only type of REAL grill. According to Jason, gas grills are cop outs and nothing more than an outside stove and lack that "grill" flavor. However, this particular grill does have a gas ignition to light the charcoal so therefore requires a propane tank.

Moving on. The grill was purchased, assembled and placed on the patio. He even went and got the propane tank (which he was happy to report that he got at an excellent price at Sam's Club)and we're ready to go! The following day it's time to put this baby to the test. We're going to grill up some steaks and corn on the cob. Sounds good, right? We're ready!!

Now, let it be stated that I do the majority of the cooking here. Even when we're cooking out, unless there are ribs on the grill, that's Jason's thing. And as much as I want to go cook on this shiny new grill, I know that I have to let the man be the man and try out his new toy first, so I wait patiently inside peeking out through the kitchen windows every once in a while to see how things are coming along.

Naturally there is a problem. Isn't there ALWAYS a problem when you try out a new product?! Anyway, it seems as though he's having a hard time lighting the charcoal. I can't tell why because I don't dare go out there. But it SHOULD be easy enough, there is a gas ignition for Pete's sake!!! So I wait, and wait and wait. Finally after about a half hour/45 minutes I ask what the hold up is (we're all getting hungry and it's about 7pm at this point). He assures me that it will just be a few more minutes, there must be something wrong with the connection of the propane tank.

After about another 10 minutes or so, he asks me to go come outside to assist him. He wants ME to hold a match to the end of the ignition while he turns on the gas. WHAT?!?!? I'm scared, but he insists it's safe and I go ahead. Nothing. We. Get. Nothing. And then the following conversation took place:

Me: Jason, where did you get that tank? Maybe it isn't any good?
Jason: No, listen...(and he turns on the ignition)...you can hear the gas coming out.
ME: Yes, I hear somethig but I don't smell anything. We should be smelling at least a little gas. You've been trying to light this thing FOREVER!!!
Jason: Huh, you know, I bought this gauge to show how much gas is in the tank but its not working.

I immediately begin to laugh and he just kinda looks at me with that "WHAT?!?!" face.

Me: Jason, where did you get that tank again? Are you sure that it has gas in it? (as I'm walking over to the tank to read the label) Maybe what you're hearing is nothing more than AIR!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. The label clearly states, EMPTY propane tank ready for filling blah, blah blah. Its empty Jason, the fucking tank is empty! You've been out here for an hour trying to light a grill with an empty propane tank because you didn't READ the label! WOW!!!

We laugh. He says it was an honest mistake. I say it was STUPID mistake. I continue to tease. He got a little mad. I teased him some more. It was fun.

YES!!! It is a big deal!

Evidently the Swine Flu has hit our area. One 3rd grader from a local elementary school has tested positive for the virus after having been in Mexico for a vacation. Evidently the boy is (thankfully) home and recovering well. My issue is this. I babysit a boy who attends that school. I drive him to school everyday.Since I have a one year old baby at home as well as a 13 year old, I'd rather take the week off if you know what I mean. I received information from a local health department official and she said the incubation period is 7 days. I'm not interested in being around anyone who may have been exposed to this boy knowing that he was in school most of last week. I'm really not into taking my chances when it comes to the health of my family or myself. Is this selfish? I'd prefer we call it smart. My guess is that if one student has been diagnosed, more are to follow. The student I watch is a 1st grader who supposedly doesn't come into regular contact with 3rd graders, according to his mother who had a bit of an attitude when I informed her that I would NOT be keeping her son this week. I'm thinking, so what! They eat lunch in the same room, they use the same bathrooms, they touch the same hand rails, yes? And we all know that children are super good about washing their hands in order to keep from spreading nasty germs. Uh huh. Right. No thank you, I'll pass. I'm sorry that if the said mother feels that I'm being overprotective, maybe I am. I really don't care. I'm sure if the situation were reversed she would take the same precautions. Seriously, I doubt that anyone believes that this is one isolated case. I hope that it is, but it's probably not. Otherwise the World Health Orginization wouldn't be having such a hissy fit.

I'm Back!!!

Well, well, well. I have returned. I know. I know. It's about time. We had some serious technical issues, all of which have still not been resolved, but at least I'm back online. Ooohhh...that sounded nice, let me say it again. I'm back online. HURRAY!!!! I gotta tell ya, not being able to get on the Internet whenever I want to has truly made me realize how dependent I am on my computer. I really had no idea how often I used my computer. It may be time for me to begin therapy in order to restructure my life so that I will be better prepared for the next inevitable computer crash. Seriously.

Anyway...how about a feel good story to punctuate my return...

This post is being typed on my brand spankin' new laptop! It's quite nice and I love being mobile. However, I am worried that being able to take the Internet from room to room may enhance my Internet co-dependency issues. I shall deal with that later :) So, the new computer, aahhh, yes. This is how it came about...

Our PC crashed. It just quit functioning. Jason took it to his computer programmer friend who basically told us we're screwed after weeks and weeks of him trying to undo whatever invaded the machine. Then he informed us that our best bet would be to TRY and restore the entire system to factory settings. We're still waiting to hear if that is going to work or not. In the meantime, I'm whining about not having a computer daily. Finally I tell Jason we need to go out and purchase a new one, NOW, because the stress of being disconnected was beginning to weigh heavily on my life. And literally, as we were walking out the door to go to Best Buy determined to get something, the phone rang. The caller gave his greetings and asked if we got our computer fixed yet. When I said no he said, "Well, I bought you guys a computer. No questions asked!" I was speechless, holding back tears. I assured him that we could pay him for it and he said absolutely not. He told me that so many people have done things to help him out and it is nice for him to, in turn, be able to help someone else. The only stipulation...we are not allowed to tell anyone in the family what he has done for us because it would cause far too much drama. And who needs/wants that!?!? So what could we say other than thanks!? It is nice to know that there are still good people in the world, really. And its feels good to have been involved in this random act of kindness. And you know what else, he said if we get our computer back and decide we don't want or need that laptop to just give it to someone who can use it, to just pay it forward. Now isn't that a nice story? I'm really excited to be able to share it with everyone.

And with that, I'M BACK! So Nance, you can take me off the hiatus list!!!

out 'til...who knows!

My computer died. Supposedly its being fixed as I type this quick post from my sister's house. I feel so disconnected. It's been a few weeks since it went on the fritz. I now know, and hate, how much I rely on technology for so many different aspects of my life. This really sucks. Hope to be back soon.

My Faves

Happy Birthday to Me!!! I'm 31 today and feeling pretty good. So I figured today would be a great day to talk about some of my favorite things seeing as my birthday is my favorite holiday. Yes, my birthday IS a holiday!

Favorite thing #1~ This blog. I love it. Yes, I know I've been a bit negligent as of late. I do have my reasons...10 month old baby that is getting into EVERYTHING! However, this is a fabulous place for me to run my mouth! And for that I am grateful to all of those who listen!


Favorite thing #2~Buying in bulk. I hate to go grocery shopping. Really hate it. So when we're all stocked up and I don't have to go for a couple of months, I'm happy. Well, if I'm being completely honest here, I don't really like buying in bulk either. It's a pain in the ass to break everything down so things may be stored properly. Like the other day when I had to clean and package 40lbs of chicken breasts, freezer wrap 20lbs EACH of ground chuck and sausage. Not to mention the 4 picnic hams. The upside is that I won't have to go to the meat market for quite some time. And That makes me happy because I hate the way raw meat smells.

Favorite thing #3~Fuel Perks. The only really good thing to come out of grocery shopping. Spend money at Giant Eagle and get a discount on gas. Last week I was able to fill up my gas tank for $14.08. Nice, huh!? I only paid 99 cents per gallon. I haven't filled up at that price since high school!

Favorite thing #4~The Black Currant Vanilla scent from Bath and Body Works. This fragrance is sexy. It's spicy and makes me want to do things I shouldn't talk about here. Yep, gonna go stock up on that today.

Favorite thing #5~Baby kisses. 'Nuf said :)


And finally, just a little something I wanted to share...Click here!

The time has come. Finally.