For Tera

Tera said I should try this, so here it is!

One of My Many Quirks

I need balance in my life. And I like nice round even numbers the best. It's a habit I picked up as a young child and I've never truly grown out of it. I believe it all started with bedtime kisses when mom tucked me in. A quick peck on the cheek would never do, oh no! I had a well thought out routine. It began with one kiss on the left eye then the right. Next was my forehead followed by my chin. Finally, a peck on my nose and then my lips. Every single night. In that order. I couldn't sleep without it. God forbid mom and I got to laughing too much and one of us screwed up the pattern 'cause I'd make her start over. On the rare occasion that I go to bed with my husband, (he works the night shift) I'll sometimes have him kiss me goodnight in this this same way. I giggle about it. He just thinks I'm a weirdo.

When I'm out shopping and there is any type of 2 for 1 deal, I HAVE to buy both items. Even if this is not required by the store in order to get one at half price. Why buy 1 when you can have 2? One is a lonely number. And when I'm buying fruit or veggies by the piece, I always get an even number. Although, when I buy 10 apples it doesn't quite work out. If we each eat one a day, being that there are 3 of us, who gets the last one?

My neighbor offered to give me some of those pretty little hanging flower bags. I got real excited because I didn't purchase any myself this year since I've been too lazy to go to a real nursery and the Home Depot doesn't seem to stock them. I thought, "Ooohhhh, I'll hang one each on either side of the garage door!!" However, I misunderstood what she said. She said that she only had "one" not "some". I tried to hide the disappointment on my face as I graciously accepted her offer. I've (accidentally on purpose) forgotten to make the journey across my back yard and pick it up. Why on earth would I only want one? I can't have flowers hanging from one side of the garage and not the other, that would be a symmetrical sin! I'm secretly hoping that she doesn't send the single bag over with her daughter. I've been thinking really hard about what I could do with one bag and I'm not coming up with any possibilities. My mind just refuses to function in terms of "one".

My husband and I are in the process of building a patio. I'm very excited at the way it's coming along. The pattern is basically one large stone surrounded by 16 smaller stones. His original design theory consisted of some crazy abstract kidney-shaped crap. The thought of which made my stomach flip. I had to very calmly state, "Now Jason, you KNOW I like things to be symmetrical." I mean really, how else am I to clearly visualize the placement of furniture, plants etc. He figured it best not to press the issue. Needless to day, the patio will be rectangular upon completion.

In the comments...tell me about your idiosyncrasies or feel free to poke fun at mine.

Hillary Clinton Sopranos Spoof

Nance said that Hillary needs to show us that she is human and can relate to women on a "real" level. I think this campaign ad is a good & funny attempt to show the more personable side of Mrs. Clinton. Although, I sincerely hope there is no hidden message here that she has mafia connections :)
Anyone who saw the Sopranos finale should appreciate this.

Memories

Music is amazing. It is the one and only thing in this entire world (that I can think of) that has the ability to reach all people regardless of what language they speak, what their culture is or where they live. Several years ago I had the pleasure of being the guest of my Ghanaian friend to an African themed party at Oberlin College. Most of the attendees were African born students and dressed in their native garb. I didn't understand the language of the songs nor did I know how to do the traditional dances. But I quickly joined in and thoroughly enjoyed the beat of the music while appreciating the opportunity to be a part of the experience. Music is what brought everyone together. Music has the power to transcend boundaries and unify people who may not otherwise interact.



Briliant Donkey has a post up about moving to the country. This reminded me of the short time I spent living outside of the city. Honestly, this was not my most favorite experience. I'm a city girl through and through. I hated the bugs, the field mice and the inability to jump in my car and run to the local corner store in under 2 minutes. But looking back I must take the time to appreciate one thing in particular you just don't see in the city. My most beautiful "country" memory comes from standing in the middle of the road during the dead of night and seeing the tree lined streets glowing with lighting bugs. The sight is breath-taking. The trees look as through some meticulous decorator spent months putting up Christmas lights. The trees, on a summer night, twinkle so brightly. The spectacular display of these little bugs is truly an exquisite and radiant sight.


I really miss the Saturday afternoons spent at Basil's with Tera and Rey. That was our girl time. We would eat, drink and be merry. It was during these times that we sat around and giggled like little school girls. No boys allowed, usually. On rare occasions we'd allow a significant other to crash our weekly party but not often. The afternoon aways ended in smiles and shopping. I appreciate the times when we attempt to recreate those outings when one of them is visiting but they're never quite the same. Only because they are too few and far between. I think you two should move back to Ohio!


My first solo trip in a stick shift vehicle left me feeling over-confident. I'd made the 30 minute drive from my house to a park only stalling once. The park has a couple different entry points that are all downhill. Some much steeper than others. With that said, my arrival was a cake walk. The departure, a disaster. The park had a heavy traffic flow that day and I was in the middle of it. The beginning of my up-hill travel to leave the park began well, the cars were moving at a steady pace. Then I had to stop. When it was time to move again, I rolled backwards almost hitting the car behind me. I panicked. I stalled. I was scared to death of trying to re-start the car to try again so I just sat there. The pile up of cars behind me was growing quite large. Thankfully, a man traveling down the hill stopped at my window and asked if I was driving a stick and having a hard time getting up the hill. I told him yes. He put his car in park, causing a pile-up in the opposite direction now, hopped in my truck, drove me up the hill and then ran back down to his car. I was soooo grateful, but very embarrassed too. That was about 8 years ago. For the past 5 years I've driven a standard transmission car every single day. These days shifting gears and rolling on hills feels like second nature to me. But I NEVER drive myself to that park. Ever.


The latter memory reminds me of another that also took place in the above mentioned park. This is a picture of Buck, my Aunt Jo's super fat Dalmatian.
This photo was taken by a photographer from the local newspaper and was featured in MSN's Week in Pictures last year. Pretty cool, 'eh? She was super excited and proud knowing that people all over the world may be viewing her pleasantly plump pooch.




In the comments...feel free to reminisce about your own memories!

10 in 5

Susan has a group event in progress...lose 10 pounds in 5 weeks. I'm feeling up for the challenge and I'm counting on Tera to help me out. I mean, just cause we live 5 hours apart doesn't mean we can't take work out together. Maybe we can take walks together on the phone, right Tera?!?!? O.K. that's probably not going to happen, but I am going to make an honest attempt. Hell, ten pounds in the right place may just put me back into a size____! Not going there~sorry!

I gave my word to participate on Tuesday. I actually forgot about it until today when I revisited Susan's blog. Maybe I'm having some short-term memory issues. Anyway...I've decided to start immediately by only having one beer tonight. And on Thrusday I'm going to make the attempt to eat healthy and work out hard. That way I can have a few beers when I watch the CAVS game. Shit, this is going to be harder than I thought.

Cleaning House

There comes a time when we must all do a bit of cleaning in our lives. Yes, we have to scrub floors, walls and toilets but today I'm referring to a different type of cleaning. Today I'm getting rid of, for good, an extremely emotional draining relationship that has caused me nothing but drama for the past several years.


I think it's safe to say that most people encounter this situation at some point. You have a friend that you've kept around just because he/she has always been there even though you have no desire or energy to nurture the relationship anymore. The conversations are dry. Sometimes combative.

In my particular situation, I think this woman just does not, can not and will not attempt to understand that life does not always go as planned. Life is part of a forever changing continuum and those who refuse to go along for the ride eventually get left behind.


Lots of people experience this for the first time when they graduate from high school. We make promises that we'll be friends forever, no matter what. And I'm sure the intentions are pure, we just have no idea that often times the promise is empty. And we try, really we do. But people go away to a far off college, join the military or just move away. Sometimes we get married. Whatever the case may be, people grow apart. Priorities change. We no longer have time for the 2 hour long conversations at 1am about the guy you met at the bar. Some of us grow up and others don't. I grew up.


For me, I learned a lot about the personal relationships in my life when I got married. Non-married girlfriends don't always understand the dynamics of a husband and wife. But then again, why should they? For the most part, this is a non-issue. However, one person in particular, always seems to find a way to attack the way I live my life and my marriage. At first, I tried to explain how things change after you get married. Especially when there is a child involved. I tried to help her understand the effort that is involved in making sure things run smoothly at home. I attempted to explain how my standards of happiness have changed from material things to emotional wealth. Anyone who is married with children, or who is a parent can relate, I'm sure, to the fact that running a house is not always an easy feat. No longer is it appropriate to only worry about yourself. Don't get me wrong, I don't ever put my friends on the back burner, but my family comes first. Period.


I am happy. I feel that thus far, my life has been a success. I have learned that success in life is not always measured by what job you have, how many degrees you hold or how many hours a week you work. Success is different things to different people. My idea of exactly what it means to be successful has changed several times over my 29 years on this earth. However, one thing is for sure, and I have learned it from my husband, success and happiness often go hand and hand. And when I realized that this so called friend of mine was incapable of accepting that this is my point of view, (for my own life, not hers) I knew it was time to put the friendship to rest. I don't need people in my life who judge the choices I make. Who refuse to be happy for me because they chose a different path in life and define things differently. I need supportive and positive people surrounding me. Not someone who attacks me when I don't answer a phone call and assumes the reason is because my marriage is in a rocky place or the kid pissed me off. Often times she even takes it personally and starts an argument that never gets resolved because there was never a basis for it to begin with. I don't have the time nor the patience for needy co-dependant people who make unwelcome attempts at analyzing my life.

Sometimes the end of a relationship is not always a direct result of how that person treats you. Sometimes you just get tired of all the negativity. Who wants to talk to someone when 90% of the conversation is "woe is me"? Married women do not want to hear about the affairs other women have with married men. We all know that misery loves company and I'm no longer interested in being that companion. Furthermore, I don't want to talk to someone who is constantly bad mouthing other people that I care about in a selfish attempt to get me on their side. No thanks, we're not in pre-school anymore and we can't kick people out of sandboxes when someone in the circle of friends has a little tiff.


I talk to my friends on a pretty regular basis. At least a few times a week, often more. Certain people, a few times a day. But in the event there is an absence in communication, my true friends never ask "why?" beyond the point of inquiring if everything is alright. They don't take it personally, they respect the fact that I have a family to care for and things often become hectic out of the blue. And I do the same for them. To those friends that I speak of, and you know who you are, thank you, and I love you.


Friendships should not be a burden. They should not be a constant battle. Sometimes things change, people change and we have to deal with those changes accordingly or the relationships can not possibly be expected to survive. Today, I have realized a relationship that I've had for almost 15 years must come to an end, for good. It's toxic, causes me stress and I'm no longer willing to try and repair it. Sometimes it is just better to understand that all damages can't be repaired. I must chalk it up as a loss and put my garbage on the curb.


Before I end I'd like to share something that rings so true to me and the judgements that have been made against me:

Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind. ~Daphne Du Maurier, English Writer


In the comments...Toast to all things that make you happy. Cheers!