Monday, March 12, 2007

Why Is This So Acceptable?



I had to attend a baby shower yesterday. YUCK! Let me just say that I really loathe these types of gatherings, especially baby and wedding showers. Why is it so appropriate to to make a list of wanted items, send potential guests a list of these items and EXPECT to receive these items while everyone has to sit there and watch the mother or bride to be open them? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind buying the gifts, shopping is my cardio. However, I really could care less about the event surrounding the "opening" ceremonies. Particularly when the food is bad. Furthermore, if the gift recipient happens to be a good friend or family member, you have to listen to them rehash the whole ordeal for weeks, sometimes months, afterwards.

Anyone who is a Sex and the City fan will remember the episode of Miranda's baby shower. She didn't want baby storks plastered everywhere, no crustless cucumber sandwiches, she didn't want to open gifts in front of everyone, and to top it off she wanted fried chicken served! That is my kinda party! Because really, you can only ooohh and aaahhh for so long over the same gift. I must admit I do enjoy watching the face of the person who bought the perfect carrier with the cute little froggie mobile when someone else bought it too. When a gift is opened, and appears to be one of a kind, the purchaser feels proud. Then the second one is opened and purchaser #1 still feels proud while purchaser #2 tries to hide the disappointment and quietly thinks "Didn't that idiot see that the registry said only one froggie carrier was wanted?!?!" Yet... purchaser #2 smiles politely and offers the option of returning the gift. I just love that part! Is that mean?

Anyway...because asking for gifts is so widely accepted in certain situations, I was thinking of beginning a new tradition...you are all invited to my house for a shoe party. The theme is Manolo Blahnik and I wear a 38.5. Please RSVP regrets only (those not in attendance WILL be bad-mouthed) and refreshemts that no one really likes will be provided. Any takers?!

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha! Love it!!! You know, I have never like those registries either!!! I mean, what ever happened to giving gifts "from the heart?" I NEVER go to them because in my estmation, if I was invited, I am obviously close enough to the person to know what they like/dislike...and I buy what I want to buy.

But this is an eye-opener...I mean if you are going to dictate to people what they should buy for you, shouldn't you at least have the decency to serve good food??? And are you really a grateful person if you've TOLD people what to get you? And how surprised are you when you open it...surprised that someone dropped a little more than $5/10???

Wow, great topic Nina!

Nina said...

Tera- Finally...someone who sees the truth! God bless you!

Anonymous said...

And I have always felt that way! I mean it's one thing if I SOLICIT a gift idea from the person, but please don't ever have a list...it just seems a bit tacky!!!!

BUT (there's always a but :)...we all know 1 or 2 people who come in there with the Dollar Store gift, which purely inivolved no thought or feeling, and that's kind of tasteless! Maybe the whole registry idea happened in part because of those select few people, but I say hey, either chalk it up as a loss OR don't invite them if it's an issue!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey, I have a little tension on the subject too. It's tradition that has totally flown off the handle. Back in the day, woman would throw a shower for their friend where each person would bring a plate of something and a gift. Mind you that these were probably girls all around the age of 18, before life had started to change. Not to mention before they all had jobs! So the shower meant a lot more then. So I guess that as long as humans evolve, their showers must too. I know that All department stores and big specialty stores as well as discount stores are loving it. We'll buy into anything.

Anonymous said...

LOL! You've got that right Nicole!

Nina said...

Tera~You're not one of those dollar store gift buyers are you? You seem to be pretty well versed on the matter! Shame on you!

Nicole~ You make a good point. When someone is young and just starting out they acutally NEED things. But when you're about to have that 3rd baby or 2nd marriage and you have a shower...that's a bit sketchy!

Nina said...

By the way ladies...why has no one sent an RSVP for the Manolo party?!! I'm hurt!

Anonymous said...

LOL!!!! Sorry Nina...ha!!! And uh, no, I am not the "Dollar Store gift buyer" but have fallen victim to them SEVERAL times! LOL!

And oh my, you bring up another very valid point...2nd and 3rd showers are a bit much, but we all know that society has no idea the difference between a need and a want anymore!!! And since we're going there, how about those people who move into APARTMENTS and have a HOUSEwarming?!?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, you also didn't give a date and time for your alleged party! :)

Nance said...

My big problem is with the "games" that guests are roped into playing. Can't we dispense with all that baloney? I mean, do we really need to have someone offer us a ball of string and then have to pretend we really care to estimate the size of the pregnant woman's belly? And yuk it up and hee-haw for some ridiculous dollar store "prize" of something tacky and cheap that we will never use and will end up giving back to the hostess or "guest of honor" or leave surreptitiously behind a couch cushion because it doesn't match our own decor or is really, really awful? Let's just bow to Commercialism and Licensed Crassness and finally cut to the chase: show up, place our gift on the table, shake the person's hand, and get the hell out of there. It would be a relief to everyone.

Nina said...

Nance~ You're absolutely right about the games! Thankfully, there were none yesterday. Just a list of baby names to match to thier celebrity parent and it was completely optional. I did, however, walk away with a "boo-boo bunny". Don't ask!

Anonymous said...

Well, let me just say this, as an individual about to be on the receiving end of a blessed baby shower. I think I will go ahead and start rehashing its events now even before they happen, however, let me preface it with the following. I wasn't asked if I wanted to have one, I was told we are throwing one for you. I said, I don't feel right asking people for pre-picked objects,(I also felt this way at my wedding shower)and I was told, if you don't then you will get duplicates or triplicates of things you really don't need and then people have wasted their money and do you want to have to return items. Is it rude to return items you aren't going to use?
So this brings me to my next point, what does this teach our children??? Don't we instill in our children to be grateful for anything that they receive? Don't we teach them that it is rude to ask for gifts?
Nina, I know how much you hate these things, but I hope you can suffer through just one more, typically the food at one of our family gatherings is good, I'll try to sneak you a bottle of wine in too!

Nina said...

See Halley...that's why I love you so much. You get me!

Anonymous said...

Halley you make a good point on getting 3 or 4 of the same thing...maybe people should be encouraged to include gift receipts. I know I usually do, especially if it's clothing or something. Hmmm...very interesting dialogue ladies!

And oh, don't try to please Nina with a bottle of wine...she's not special!!! LOL! :) J/K

Anonymous said...

You know, maybe we should come up with an alternative to a baby shower, maybe a welcome home shower and people would be able to use their personal talents to give gifts to the new parents. Maybe a home cooked meal that the parents won't have to clean up or even something they can freeze. Hell I would be happy if someone wanted to come over and do a couple loads of laundry or would just watch the baby so I could take a shower and shave my legs!
You know what else is ironic? We spend months and months going goo-goo, and ga-ga over an unborn child, yet when the child arrives, the excitement seems to dwindle and when you need the help the most, where is it? That's something to think about. Perhaps the best present to give a baby or their parents isn't materialistic, but your presence in their life.

Nina said...

Tera~wine should be mandatory anyways!
Halley~I'm going to come up with an extra-special gift for your upcoming shower that I'll be thrilled to attend because your family does always have delicious food!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I know...thanks to you and Reylene, it's my PREFERENCE now!!! Is that fair though that the honorary mother to be can't have a sip? ;)

Halley I don't think you have any worries when it comes to Nina...she ALWAYS gets great gifts!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Tera, you are absolutely right, she has yet to disappoint me! And believe me Tera, it is 100% o.k. to have many sips of wine, I know somewhere there has to be documented research to support that idea!

Anonymous said...

Ha!!! Trust me, I'm 100% sure of that too Halley!!!

Anonymous said...

well now that I've figured out how to post on this damned thing, let me agree with you all! I HATE showers. I didn't even like my baby shower. Although I don't think I got two of the same thing, except for the things that were needed the most. Most of you know that I have a daughter with 3 kids of her own. For every one, she had a shower. Now...3 kids in 5 years, you would think that she had most of the important stuff. I thought it was really a waste of time, and tacky to expect friends and family to buy big gifts again. Diapers, wipes and bottles are one thing, cribs, strollers and carseats are another. Honestly I think it's greedy. Oh, and Nina...I hate to shop too!!! Congrats Halley! Nina didn't tell me you were expecting. BAD NINA!!!

Nina said...

Heidi~I'm just greatful that I didn't have to attend all those showers with you!

Anonymous said...

Heidi a grandma -he!he!he! I agree, one shower for the first kid and no damn games!!!