Remember the days when you could walk into the local high school and all the kids pretty much looked like someone from Saved By the Bell? Well, maybe not exactly, but pretty darn close. You could always count on seeing certain groups of students... the jocks, the nerds, preppies. At least when I was in school the majority of students fit into those categories. Welcome to 2007. Maybe I am just naive to believe that kids really aren't that different from 10 years ago when I was a high school senior. Boy, I couldn't be more wrong!
I had the pleasure of teaching at the local high school two days this week. I'm amazed at what I see and hear every single time I enter the building but this week...wow!!! I heard the "f-bomb" dropped more times than I could possibly dream of counting and far more times than I'd care to remember. It seems as though f#*k is as common as "hello". This expletive has apparently become a staple in high school student dialect. The kicker? Not once did I hear a staff member tell a student not to use that type of language. Has it really become so much a part of everyday life that as adults we've chosen to ignore this type of behavior?
I saw 2 young girls flaunting their pregnant bellies. I'm not talking about wearing a cute maternity shirt, I'm talking bare bellies hanging out! When I was a student (at this same high school) bellies were not allowed to be shown. You'd be sent home to change if you were showing too much skin. But as I look around at the girls with their breasts hanging out, mid drifts showing and boys with underwear out for all to view, more than half of the student body would be sent home daily. Maybe it's just too much work to enforce a dress-code? More importantly, where are these kid's parents when they leave the house everyday? The school system I work for is in desperate need of uniforms!
I saw two girls making out in the cafeteria Friday morning. Lovely. It's bad enough to see opposite sex couples groping each other in the halls as though they're starring in an x-rated movie. But the girls, that was a shocker! And no, I'm not homophobic.
I saw a girl wearing a pair of 4 inch stiletto heels that I myself wouldn't dare attempt to walk in at the age of 29. I always thought high heels were reserved for prom and homecoming during this period of a young woman's life. For me, it was a right of passage. I must really be out of touch...
Several times I encountered students in which I was unable to determine their sex due to a whole new group of kids out there calling themselves "EMOS"? I think it means something about being emotionally disturbed, someone please correct me if I'm wrong. But this group consists of boys who wear make up and girls clothing. And the girls, I don't know what the hell they're doing! All I know for sure is that it makes for a difficult time when you're faced with choosing between a masculine or feminine pronoun. Look at the class roster, right? No, that doesn't always help, too many kids have uni-sex names. When I was in school we had a similar group, they were called "freaks"! And not nearly as popular as EMOS seem to be. When did being emotionally disturbed become cool?
Let me go back to the way the girls dress a moment. I saw a girl, I'm going to guess her age to be about 14, who knows. She was wearing a mini-skirt, fish net stockings and black high heeled hooker-boots. You know, the boots that rise to the bottom of the knee? Well...there is a reason those boots are called hooker boots. Enough said.
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Who wants to make that call in the classroom about the clothing being inappropriate? "Excuse me, but you have to go to the office."
"Why?"
"Because your clothing is inappropriate."
And then the confrontation begins. And then the teacher is perhaps unsupported, depending upon which principal the student belongs to, which makes the teacher look ineffective and lose authority. It's just not that easy. Same with hearing profanity in the hallway. If it's a student, one of 2000, it may not be a student the teacher knows. The student uses more profanity back and sparks more of a confrontation. The teacher, who has been told NOT TO EVER TOUCH A STUDENT, tries to see the student's ID to get the name to file a report. The student flees. What has been accomplished? The teacher has been upset, looks like a non-factor, and the kid is a hero.
WE ARE TEACHERS. WE WANT TO TEACH. Sometimes we pick battles and just want to teach. We can't parent and we can't be social police all the time.
Nance~I believe I've struck a sour note?! I agree that teachers should be able to teach and not have to parent as well. Respect for self and others ALWAYS starts at home and sadly that doesn't appear to be a top priority anymore among many families in our community. It's pathetic that the authority teachers and principals once had is pretty much non-existant. Teachers are no longer respected in a way they were when I was a student and that makes for an almost impossible environment in which rules can be enforced. Throwing in the factor that often times principals are not supportive of teachers makes for a really screwed up dynamic all around. Especially when students are aware of the situation and use it to their advantage. Then you have all the parents who believe their childern are perfect and would never be capable of the things the teacher says happened. I truely belive that because of the sue-happy world we live in today, society has stripped teachers and pricipals of the respect and authority that is, in my opinion, absolutely deserved. Hell, up until I was in Jr. High, maybe 6th grade, you could still be sent to the office for a swat! It would be a beautiful thing to see a return of "the swat"!! Unfortunately that will never happen. So...it does dishearten me when I see such uglyness in a school. I do not, however, believe that the respsonsibity to fix the problems rests on the shoulders of teachers. Parents need to take a long hard look at how they're raising their children and re-evaluate what it means to have repect for adults as well as having repect for themselves.
Well, the whole community has taken a crap on the public school system where you are talking about. For years the city proposed levy after levy to get money to build a new school. I don't know, how many were there? Anyhow did one of those ever pass? I think that one passed, but it was only passed to make repairs. If anyone took a stroll through the halls of their sweet alma matter, they would immediately be amazed that a new high school must be built. However, they continue life as they did when they graduated and once again forget about the place. Now the high school is very mad and feels put down, like no one cares, so why not say f*-it and let the whole school fall apart. Walls, students, teachers,locker rooms, gymnasiums, display cases, you name it. The only thing that is wrong about this, is that it happened. Everyone in that community really needs to take a walk through the school during school hours and see what they are going to have dumped back into the community. At least ten years ago the students that didn't leave town had manners and were tolerable, and thats a fact.
Well, lucky for us we live in a big city. They are extememly strict on dress codes and behavior right down to what grade you can wear what kind of makeup. Lip gloss and mascara 7th & 8th grade. Nothing in k-6. Shorts must be mid thigh and a skirt can't be any shorter than your fingers tips when your arms are hanging down. Tops must be 2" wide (tanks, etc)you must wear shoes or sandals with straps on the backs. No underwear hanging out, no colored hair, or baggy clothes. They are very strict and if you come to school without the "proper" clothes-they don't send you home-they have some for you to wear. In the schools that they could not get parent cooperation they must wear uniforms. As for the f*** bombs-ZERO tolerance-period. You get suspended for 3 days 1st offense. They can't even see a cell phone or you get 3 days INS. They are pretty strict here-I think good ol EHS has just hit the dumps and they have no support so what else can they do? Iam extremely shocked at the parents who put their kids in school and think they are done parenting and now it's the teachers turn to finish up. Excuse me??? Our culture has certainly changed but a lot of it is because of laziness. Pretty sad!!
Nicole~ I bet that kids do act a certain way, to some extent, because the community has turned the other cheek one too many times.
Michelle~ Do you think that I can send Devin to live with you during his high school yeasr?!?!? I know that EHS does actually have a dress code. Enforcing it is the problem. And yes, it's very sad!
Well ladies, it seems that this may be about the 4th time this week alone that I have been a part of a similar conversation...Let's start with first things first...
I remember when we were seniors, that was the last year the other high school in the city would be open, thus the consilidation would happen with the next class. People in the community knew that would mean trouble...and it did. There are too many children in that school, and as Nance said, you don't even know who half of them are! When I was there, teachers that didn't even have me in class knew who I was.
I remember then, it was a sense of community...I mean there were certain little "cliques," but we ALL got along! Not too many fights; we actually "cared" if a teacher heard us use profanity, and in the same token, teachers actually "did something" when they heard it!!! I remember a friend of mine getting expelled for 180 days because he had a PAGER, and now kids sit in class listening to IPODs and watching DVD movies! That person by the way, did not graduate because he became discouraged after knowing he would be held back...
I remember they gave detentions for being late to class...I remember not being able to let the straps from overalls hang down, let along skin being shown! I remember not even being able to CHEW GUM in class!!! I remember locker checks...I remember how fun the pep rallies/spirit games used to be (with FULL participation)...I also remember when students actually respected the teachers...
And now, I am sad...when I first graduated, I too subbed at that school, and that wasn't many years after I graduated, and it had already changed! I mean, even then, it was an atrocity!!! And you know those same teachers we had grown to respect were not being subject to this chaos!!!
What I think happens after the years, is like Nance said...you "pick your battles." I am sure if there was something the teachers could do about it, they would...but like Nina said, it starts at home. I know my past, and how me and my sister was raised, and now, she's one of those students who go to that SAME SCHOOL and is among those who reak havoc! And I am 95% certain that her teachers on "push her through" because they are tired of being bothered with her...regardless of grades! Sadly enough, some teachers are notorious for doing that too!
If it makes the teachers of the world feel any better, (as they say) when I was in school, "my Grandmama wasn't havin' that!!!" And I practice those SAME principles with MY CHILDREN! The people at their school know my voice when I call!!! I am very much involved in academia AND activities...and my children know off the top to give their teachers the SAME respect they would give any other adult in this world.
All I can say is good luck, because we as parents and educators...heck, even our kids are up against a lot in this day and age with all the "new rules," and "(made up) adopted policies," I guess the best thing to do is to give it OUR best and continue to pray for "change (whatever that means anymore)."
I guess we also have the advantage of having several school districts in Tucson and you try to move to where you want your kids to go. They are very strict in this district and have the least trouble from the students. Most students who don't want to follow those rules don't chose to go to these schools. If they do "they fly right". I remember when I went EHS (a LONG, LONG time ago) and it was bad then. No, the teachers were not disrespected and the students did have to dress appropriately and there was no gum, but there were LOTS of drugs (what else is there to do in Elyria)and lots of fights, skipping classes, etc. I really think they need to up your tax payer $$ to improve the schools. If it works its money well spent.
Tera~ I guess 10 years really does make a huge difference! Maybe I'm just not willing to admit that alot of what goes on in a lot of the schools today is considered the "norm" now.
I hope that it's not the norm. Being asked to monitor the halls. See a kid kick a girl in the BACK so hard that I heard it crack, and then be shunned for trying to do something about it. Real good.
Nicole~That is AWFUL! From what I hear (and even at the Middle school levels), teachers often times tend to "ignore" fights. That is pretty scary when I have children who will be there one day.
Nina~Isn't that absurd that we must "accept" the changes as the norm? I mean if things get progressively worse, what will schools look like 10 years from NOW?!
Tera & Nicole~ The biggest problem is that teachers, under NO circumstances, are allowed to actually touch a student. That can make for a very dangerous situation when violence occurs.
Yeah, I know, and that's why I put "ignore" the way I did, because even I as a sub have wanted to smack the f*** out of a student or 2, but the rules won't allow it!!! ;)
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